Queen and Stupid Alien
by Tribble Master
Summary: Song fic and average day on Enterprise. about five song clips, but funny! Please R&R! SURPRISE ENDING!


This is a song fic, with about 5 Queen songs or so. But basically a basic day on _Enterprise_. i hope you like. Please reveiw!

_And none of it is mine! Whoot-whoot! _Yeah, big whoop.

_

* * *

_

_I've paid my dues -  
Time after time -  
I've done my sentence  
But committed no crime -  
And bad mistakes  
I've made a few  
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -  
But I've come through_

Sang the stupid alien that dared face off with the _Enterprise_. He was now sitting in the brig. He figured there was nothing else to do but comply with the authores's whims so he bang to think back to earlier that day…

He was one of those psycho aliens, sorry I mean psychic aliens. Actually both. Anyway he had the power to float around in space and whatever I want to use for a plot device.

So of course he contacted the _Enterprise_ before destroying it, mistake one. His call was answered by Uhura who said, "Alien Freaks Hotline, how may I help you? Pickup is at the second galaxy to yo right."

"Uh, yeah. Girlfriend—"

"Yessssssss?"

"You need to stop that. Anyway I'm going to destroy your—"

"Captain, it's another one."

"Ship, um, what are you guys going?"

"That's right captain, code stinky bleu cheese."

Then this stupid alien heard from the back, "On screen. Now, you stupid alien let me clarify." Suddenly, using his eye plot device power he could see what was going on, on the bridge. A disco ball had dropped down and Spock had joined the Captain in singing:

_We are the champions - my friends  
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -  
We are the champions -  
We are the champions  
No time for losers  
'cause we are the champions - of the world -  
_

Now Kirk sang his own verse:

_  
I've taken my bows  
And my curtain calls -  
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -  
I thank you all - _

But it's been no bed of roses  
No pleasure cruise -  
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -  
And I ain't gonna lose -

For the last verse the whole bridge crew sang:

_  
We are the champions - my friends  
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -  
We are the champions -  
We are the champions  
No time for losers  
'cause we are the champions - of the world_

Stupid Alien, this**_ was_** name, shook his head. He was so confident he could defeat these dorks so he gave them two hours before his onslaught began. Stupid move, stupid alien, what do you expect?

Anyway in these two hours two things happened.

First off Spock went to his quarters to be alone; there he had another emotional break down. So he sang, and later when the tapes were found he would blame it on another alien disease. But anyway he was singing:

_You say black I say white  
You say bark I say bite  
You say shark I say hey man  
Jaws was never my scene  
And I don't like star wars  
You say rolls I say Royce  
You say God give me a choice  
You say lord I say Christ  
I don't believe in peter pan  
Frankenstein or superman  
All I wanna do is _

Bicycle bicycle bicycle  
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

In all reality he was jumping up and down on a computer. Meanwhile, looking for a plot line Kirk was singing:

_Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can barely stand on my feet  
Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord what you're doing to me  
I have spent all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief,  
Lord!  
Somebody, somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love? _

I work hard every day of my life  
I work till I ache my bones  
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -  
I get down on my knees  
And I start to pray  
Till the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord - somebody - somebody  
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

Back to the crazy man on the computer:

_I want to ride my bicycle  
I want to ride my  
Bicycle races are coming your way  
So forget all your duties oh yeah!  
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today  
So look out for those beauties oh yeah  
On your marks get set go  
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race  
Bicycle bicycle bicycle want to ride my bicycle  
Bicycle bicycle bicycle  
Bicycle race…_

And now it was time to be logical and go save the ship. At the same time Kirk had found a sub-plot, I mean babe. She had on a beautiful backless _Star Trek_ style dress, and was very important to the plot. IT GIVES ME MORE ROOM FOR QUEEN SONGS! So anyway after one quick smoochie she left him for someone with more 'commitment.' So now in this scene Kirk is mopping around and, _why don't you guess?_. So here is what was sung:

_Caviar and cigarettes  
Well versed in etiquette  
Extraordinarily nice _

She's a killer queen  
Gunpowder, gelatin  
Dynamite with a laser beam  
Guaranteed to blow your mind  
Anytime

_  
Drop of a hat she's as willing as  
Playful as a pussy cat  
Then momentarily out of action  
Temporarily out of gas  
To absolutely drive you wild, wild…  
She's all out to get you_

Okay to save the reader from sheer boredom, or to save you from laughing to hard (which ever) I'm just going to skip to—

Wait! Back in the brig Stupid Alien was singing;

_I want to break free  
I want to break free  
I want to break free from your lies  
You're so self satisfied I don't need you  
I've got to break free  
God knows God knows I want to break free_

I told him to shut up and now we are back to the past or what ever. Anyway the two hours were up. The alien was going to blow up the ship with a really cool power that will blow up the ship, unless the Bridge crew has anything to say about it!

Well since this is _STAR TREK_ the good guys won.Duh, don't ask me how but it involved a big white neon green flash of Kool-aide, and cheese.

So now we come to the present moments were Stupid Alien was in the brig. He figured since this whole story was a musical he again, sang:

_I'm going slightly mad  
I'm going slightly mad  
It finally happened - happened  
It finally happened - ooh oh  
It finally happened  
I'm slightly mad  
Oh dear _

I'm one card short of a full deck  
I'm not quite the shilling  
One wave short of a shipwreck  
I'm not my usual top billing  
I'm coming down with a fever  
I'm really out to sea  
This kettle is boiling over  
I think I'm a banana tree  
Oh dear

Upstairs on the bridge party mode was in full swing. One hero was raised on their shoulders as they sang. The one who had saved the entire ship. There was clapping and stomping as they sang:

**_Buddy you're a boy make a big noise  
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin' your can all over the place _**

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you

Buddy you're a young man hard man  
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Wavin' your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you

Buddy you're an old man poor man  
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day

You got mud on your face  
You big disgrace  
Somebody better put you back in your place

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you

Yes, the stupid alien had been defeated by a red-shirt, hero of the _Enterprise._ This of course made Kirk jealous, but he was off with another babe. Spock would have told them that it was all illogical and to stop but he was going crazy in his quarters. Meanwhile, McCoy was partying.

* * *

END

SMILE ON FELLOW TREKIES!

I BELIVE IN THE HEALING POWER OF MY TRIBBLES FOR THEY SHALL DESTROY THE EVIL THAT IS YOGA! (actually yoga only sucks when you have a cut on your hands like me)


End file.
